On Tuesday 1/24, the day after my colposcopy, I received a call from my Gynecologist’s nurse. I’ll never forget that phone conversation. She simply stated that instead of having my follow-up appointment on Monday, at my doctor’s request I needed to come in tomorrow (Wednesday the 25th). If only she had said to just come in tomorrow… however, she added, “and why don’t you bring your husband with you, so we can talk about treatment.”
Here were my thoughts:
- My doctor wants me to come in tomorrow instead of Monday? This is obviously urgent.
- I can’t go by myself, she wants Matt to come with me. Why? So he can pick me up off the ground, once I hear the news?
- This won’t be a fun conversation. Treatment is in my future.
I received that call at 4:30pm, and after informing Matt, we immediately went to my mom and step-dad’s house to process the news. I’m a “worst-case scenario” kind of girl. I let my mind quickly jump to the worst of cases in any and every situation. My thinking behind this is, it’s a way to protect myself from being shocked. And, once I know what the worst case could be, I can dream up a solution.
We soon began the discussion and brainstorms of what could possibly be the diagnosis. Cancer? Ectopic pregnancy? Ginormous fibroid? Although, I did let the idea of cancer enter my mind, I wasn’t ready to figure out a solution for that particular case. If it were to be a fibroid, that would be fine. Solution- surgery to remove it…no biggie.
I now believe that the reason I wasn’t ready to brainstorm solutions for a cancer diagnosis was because God only wanted me to see one thing at a time.
Matthew 6:34 (Message Version)
“Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.”